Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
