I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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