I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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