All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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