Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
that is very illegal...i love you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
