I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
