Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
