That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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