So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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