Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
