the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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