Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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