If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize