Small penises have feelings too.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
