Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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