brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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