I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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