I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Congratulations! We have a period
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
