Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
