before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize