after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I understand Curling. That high.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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