Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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