Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
