i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
