I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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