don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
