hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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