the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
