I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am naked and annoyed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
