you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
