this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
