New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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