dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
