I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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