Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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