Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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