Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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