So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
