I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
