honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
