She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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