she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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