Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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