is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
