a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
