Do you still have your period?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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