Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
