Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
