I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
