I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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