talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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