flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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