im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
