we have pet lesbian snakes
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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