I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
