Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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