She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
