FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you win again, gameday.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
