Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
