Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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