I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hippo gnu deer
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
