Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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